The Final Revenge On The Fans...

James Verniere of the Boston Globe gave Episode III a very "Luke"-warm review (get it? Haahahahahahaaa!), and Rotten Tomatoes counted it as a Tomato.

Upon skimming the reviews, I've discovered that only about half of the "positive" reviews for the Rotten Tomatoes score are actually fully positive, while the many of the others basically say it doesn't suck quite as terribly as I and II.

While not sucking as much as I and II is about as much praise I think Lucas deserves for the third installment (I'll know for sure after Wednesday night), something dawned on me yesterday.

Lots of people have been invoking EMPIRE when they discuss this third film, because of the "dark" nature of the two movies. However, every reviewer is keen to note that EMPIRE is, and will now for all eternity, be the greatest STAR WARS film by a very, very large margin.

That makes sense, because Lucas had the least to do with EMPIRE.

Irvin Kirshner directed EMPIRE, and it was written by Lawrence Kasdan. To be sure, Lucas gave him broad strokes and Kasdan filled in the details, but one now wonders how many details Kasdan added?

While Kasdan also helped write JEDI, Lucas shares a full screenwriting credit (he does NOT share one on Empire). Meaning, he was there over Kasdan's shoulder for every page, making sure his particular brand of stink (i.e. Ewoks) was represented in the film.

Lucas clearly and undeniably had the least creative input into EMPIRE...And EMPIRE is the undisputed crown jewel of the franchise. That's GOTTA get under Lucas' shorts.

Peter Travers of Rolling Stone opens his review with;
"Drink the Kool-Aid. Wear blinders. Cover your ears. Because that's the only way you can totally enjoy Revenge of the Sith -- the final and most futile attempt from skilled producer, clumsy director and tin-eared writer George Lucas to create a prequel trilogy to match the myth-making spirit of the original Star Wars saga he unleashed twenty-eight years ago".

While Lucas is a remarkably skilled producer (look at what he gets on the screen, even in 1977), he manages to turn otherwise moderate to even great actors into pieces of wood. He also writes really, really quite terrible dialogue.

Deep down, he'll always know. Despite surrounding himself with spineless yes-men on the Lucas ranch, despite anything his friends and inner circle tell him, he'll always know.
EMPIRE is the heart and soul of the STAR WARS universe. It gives us the mythology of the Force, and the quotable Yoda lines that give the films a spirituality all their own.
It has the confrontation and the "reveal" that turns the films into space opera, and not just space cowboys.

While Lucas is cashing in his final (and biggest...With Yoda and Vader pitching soda and taco bell) Star Wars checks, he'll always know that the film responsible for the humanity, spirituality, and depth of his franchise, was almost completely not of his making.