People are People so why should it be, I'm so mean in SLC?

A while ago, I was reminded of a game Joe and I used to play. Basically, it was making funny titles/names for people at the club when we were bored.
Today, I was in the airport in SLC, on my way to LA. Oh, in other news, I'm in LA for a bit.
At any rate, I had a 90-minute layover in SLC, where I encountered these people;


My husband is a plastic surgeon
OR
The 465,000-dollar woman

Move it, Fatty

I'm from Portland, FASCIST!

I can't believe I joined the army

Rich, but don't forget I'm black

No hablo ingles (times 100)

1988? BEST HAIRCUTS EVER!!!

I miss my mom

Harry Belefonte's double

The hippest Asian couple in the universe

I hope this trip reconnects me with my daughter

I hope my mother doesn't want to bond this trip

Pregno-tron

God Bless pantsuits

Mid-west regional vice president in charge of promotions and marketing

My mustache is named Pepe

Eyebrowpalooza

Baby-hater

and my favorite...

Safari on the mind, hoagie in my tummy

I also ate at an great Brazillian churrascaria joint. I ate enough meat to choke a horse. Although, I guess horses don't eat that much meat, but you get my point.