Attack of the nerds...Really

We just saw SIN CITY. Liked it. Slows down a tad in the 3rd "act" (it's 3 separate stories, the main one starts off the flick, then takes up the last 30-40 minutes or so). But the movie isn't the point....


The nerds at the comic shop were loudly chatting about the movie at 3:30 in the afternoon. It had been out for about 3 hours and the goddamned nerds wouldn't shut the fuck up about the plot. I first jokingly asked them to give the other 15 people in the store a chance to see it before listening to their photo-realistic detailed description. I finished by holding my hands up to make the little screen and said "It's like I'm there!"

Well, that got a few laughs from the other customers at the comic shop. And the head nerds at the counter didn't cotton to some no-nerd-cred tubby dork making funnies at their nerd expense. They didn't really reply, but they were clearly ticked.

Shortly thereafter, I swear to God, one of the nerds started talking about getting his black belt in KARATE recently. I instantly pictured him with feathered hair, jumping wicked high and delivering devastating kicks like a certain Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

When I went up to the counter to buy my nerdbooks (geeklature?), the guy that can chop boards in half (I suppose) gave me a really cocksure look, and turned around to lean against the counter and cross his arms across his chest...it was a pose right out of an 80's movie.

So, I asked him aaalllll about Karate. I asked him if he learned the five-finger palm exploding heart technique. He laughed that off, and said "no", but he DID learn the pressure points on an arm to strike to render it numb. You know, the "don't hit my arm in that spot the size of a dime" technique.

I found this fascinating. I pleaded, begged, and offered money if he'd show me how the arm-numbing-strike thing worked. No, he said...he didn't want to do any PERMANENT NERVE DAMAGE TO MY ARM!!!!

Oh, my sweet Jesus this was getting awesome.

I asked him if we could try it on a large dog, or maybe a bum, because I MUST see this arm-exploding-strike.

This time, he said it would not be responsible to show it to non-black belts. I almost peed my pants with comedy.

I was dying of giggles on the inside. I wanted to call Joe and Rob and hold the phone up and say "Tell them! Tell them about the arm-numbing attack!" and pinch his cheeks.

So I tell the guy it's OK to tell me, I'm a black belt too. I have a certificate with a dragon on it and everything. He very skeptically asks from whom I got my black belt.

At this point, I'm laughing so freakin' hard in the inside, it's spilling out. I have a huge grin on my face. I'm almost laughing out loud.

I lean into the counter a bit so the clerk (who seems like he's sorta getting the joke) and Kubla Khan can both hear me when I whisper "Bruce....Fucking....Lee."

The clerk and another guy (that was now getting rung up) both laugh. Kubla Khan is visibly agitated now and delivers this gem while he's walking out the door; "Well, if you really DID have a black belt, you'd know how dangerous one can be."

Indeed.