Compulsive Terrible Liar Geeky Girl

In the interest of not talking badly about my future mother-in-law two posts in a row, I’ve decided to go back and hit a topic I discovered a few weeks ago.
Everyone knows there are several geeky archetypes. There’s the skinny, asthmatic, mathematically inclined, guy that tends towards sci-fi. They usually have the giant, John Hinkley/David Koresh-style glasses. There’s also the tubby comic-book guy with acne, facial hair and some sort of speech problem, such as the one made famous by the Simpsons.
I have discovered a "new" archetype hiding in plain site. Read on if you dare, dear bloggite about the Compulsive Terrible Liar Geeky Girl.
The other week I went to my friend Steve’s birthday dinner at a nice Italian joint. I was seated across from a girl that I had seen at the comic shop where Steve works.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call the girl unattractive, but she clearly has fallen in with a nerd crowd because as we all know, the bar is frankly set lower. A lower bar means she’s hotter, all things being relative. She was being as chatty as any other nerd when surrounded by their own. She was into her third or fourth story when something struck me; This girl is completely full of shit!

There had been a comic/sci-fi convention a week or two before where Steve and I sold some shirts at Steve’s art booth. They gave away a pez dispenser at the con. The staff that worked the con got a "special" version, so theirs would be worth more. She claimed that it was selling for "over 300 dollars" on Ebay.
OK, so this could simply be an exaggeration and not necessarily a lie, but it rung a bell.
She had apparently traveled Europe within the past ten years or so, because she was talking about it like it was yesterday. I only caught the tail end of this one, but it was so beautiful. I really strained to catch all the details. In short, she had gotten into a bar-fight in Austria (I THINK it was Austria, it was definitely an "A" place as I recall) and smashed a bottle on somebody’s head.
Now, I know what’s not fair here. "Mike, you’ve been in crazy-ass fights and you’re a big dork". Well for one, I had huge high-school issues to work out. Secondly, I was actually a bouncer in Chicago. The crazy fights found me.
To look at this girl, everything about her screams "Academic Sorority". She’s quite obviously closer to being one of these girls, rather than this girl.

Obviously, I can’t be sure that she was lying. I also can’t be sure that OJ killed Nicole and Ron. It just seems obvious to anyone not inhaling retard sandwiches like they’re going out of style.
Shortly thereafter, she was talking about her cell phone full of numbers. She had her friends, family, co-workers, overseas boyfriend, sorority contacts and literally just hundreds and hundreds of numbers. I asked her how many numbers she has on her phone.
About 350 was the answer. I was impressed. "Wow. Three-fifty? Can I see? To my surprise, she handed over the phone. I opened her address book and started counting. One hundred and twenty something.
Also, her boyfriend in another country can bench-press God.
Now, I honestly don’t really care if this girl lies or not. What I found fascinating was the fact that there was an undeniable pattern. I’ve known several CTLGG’s. I knew one in high school who claimed her brother was growing five acres of weed in a farmer’s field. I knew one in college who was supposed to be an Olympic alternate in fencing, who clocked in at about 190 lbs at five foot five. I also knew another girl who had a community college karate instructor who could make people explode when he looked at them just right.
The greater question is why? Why do these CTLGG’s feel the need to lie such embarrassingly bad lies? They tell wicked-awesome whoppers like "my dad can jump over the HOUSE!" and basically look at you in a way that dares you call them on it.
While I don’t pretend to understand the phenomenon, I won’t hide my joy in loving the lies.