Empowerment

Last Saturday I drove to my Saturday night gig to discover that my regular parking lot was full.

I was bummed that my out-of-the-way 5$ lot was full because most of the parking around Hollywood and Vine runs more like 10-20$ for the evening.

So I was thrilled when only another 2 blocks away I found an 8$ lot. I pulled in and drove up to the attendant.

How much is it to park here?

Hatedolars.

Eight?

Hatedolars.

OK. Um, I work at one of the clubs around the corner, and my car will be here all night, is it fine until morning?

-no response-

Can I get my car in the morn...

Si, si, it will be ohkay.

I gave the guy my eight bucks and parked. Awesome.

Nine hours later at about 7:15 or so I get back to the lot after an uneventful, but very tiring night of letting Douchebags into a VIP area to drink 200 dollar bottle of vodka.

I notice that they've closed one of the gates. Hmm,... well there's probably only one guy here now and it's easier to watch the lot with only one gate open...right?
I walk though a door-sized section of the fence that's always open and I see that the other gate is also shut.

Mother. Fucker.

I hop in my car and zip over to one of the gates. It's the kind that slides open on a track, running along with the length of fence. It's secured with a pretty sizable padlock on only medium gauge chain.

A quick backstory...

About three years ago I made a movie that ended with a cartoon character who produces a wood axe to threaten the time-traveling main character. If you were there, you know what I'm talking about. If you weren't, well, you'd just have to see it.

Almost two years ago, I sold my Taurus and bought a Volvo s40. When I emptied the trunk of the Taurus, I transferred some of the contents directly to my Volvo...including the wood axe used in said time-travel movie.

Back to last Saturday.

I went straight to my trunk and got the axe. Still in my suit and tie, I marched over to the chain holding the gate shut. About three inches of the chain rested against the metal pole that was part of the fence.
I started to whale on that chain like a fucking Viking.
VERY quickly, I was drawing attention. I can't imagine why. A guy in a suit, outside his running car in a parking lot beating on a locked gate with an axe in the heart of Hollywood at 7:20 on a Sunday morning. What the hell were they looking at?

My four or five observers got to watch as on my fifth or sixth swing, I got the chain just right and the whole length of chain dropped to the ground.

I don't know exactly why, but at that precise moment I felt like this.

I mean, obviously I felt like I'd taken control of my situation, but it was something better than that. It put me in a good mood for days.

For the matter of the parking lot's broken chain and busted up fence pole...Hire alguien que habla inglés de mierda.