New Characters

Long ago, my friends and I discussed the idea of “extras” and the Cast of Characters that inhabit your life. Generally, we were talking about the people that would show up invariably at every function that we did. They were bit players, but they were everywhere. You’d see them at the movies, at concerts, festivals, and certainly at the clubs.
There were also a host of day players that provided massive amounts of comedy. The ugliest (inside and out) couple I’ve ever known in my life were members of the Wright State Gamer’s Guild. One of the most bizarre, spoiled, drunken self-parodies of a human being I’ve ever met was a friend of Rob’s.

Moving has only changed the players. It seems that my friends and I are destined to be surrounded by freaks and lunatics…which really, is more interesting than soccer moms and Guido’s, but onto the point.

Since I’ve moved to Florida, I’ve encountered quite the cast of characters. I’ll try to paint as vivid a portrait as possible.

Gerald

Gerald is in my gaming group. On Monday nights I run a D&D group for some people I met at the local comic shop. Although the Golden Age of gaming is over, my Monday group is surprisingly fun.
Gerald is about 6’1” and while only weighing about 165lbs, he still manages to look out of shape. He’s 30, but he could pass for 35. His almost shoulder-length greasy black hair has a 3inch wide strip on the side about 2 feet longer than the rest (presumably, to show how long his hair once was).
His speech is very deliberate and articulate. He sounds like the impersonation that freshmen might do of their history 101 professor.
Finally, Gerald has typical gamer style; David Koresh/John Hinkley-type glasses, lots of wolf t-shirts with very tight stonewashed jeans.
Now after a relatively negative physical portrait, I should point out that Gerald is pretty funny when he wants to be, and pretty smart.
Why do I say he’s smart? Easy, he doesn’t have a job. Gerald doesn’t have a job and as far as I can tell, not a care in the world about it.
I was told in some very vague terms about some “botched surgeries” on Gerald that resulted in what I would estimate to be a six-figure malpractice settlement. These settlements -combined with a monk’s existence while still living at his mom’s house- means no work for Gerald. That is extraordinarily fortunate, since with no girlfriend, no job, no charity work, and no house to tend…he can’t make gaming some nights.
I don’t know exactly is keeping Gerald from the game. But I do know it’s not because he’s doing underwater demolitions…which he can do. Seriously.
Apparently, a few years ago, Gerald enrolled into a scuba class. While at this class, he met someone who was there as part of a larger training course –underwater welding-. Fascinated, (as any of us would be) Gerald also enrolled in the full course and was soon a qualified underwater welder.
However, it was not made clear to Gerald that when on real job sites, somebody else above water controlled the flow of acetylene to your torch below water. The miscommunication between these two peoples can (and does, a couple times a year) result in the welder getting blowed up.
And for this reason, Gerald does not use his skills in underwater demolitions.

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