Star-Studded Thursday

I experience Hollywood one weird celebrity spotting at a time.

Last Thursday James Caan walked right in front of my car while I was at a red light. My first thought was "Wow, those sunglasses can't hide that giant, James Caan-looking mug behind them." He's very distinctive.
That must explain why he's dressed like a homeless person. Wait, no...what?

Being distinctive has nothing to do with dressing like you haven't bathed in a month. I wasn't making any sort of sense in my head. OK let's re-trace my perceptions.

One, I see James Caan. Two, I notice the behemoth head behind sunglasses. Three, I finally notice thermal underwear under jean shorts and a ratty t-shirt over a gross looking long-sleeve shirt.

Hmmm. Nope, can't figure this one out. This was most certainly not for a movie. We weren't anywhere near a studio, and there were no production trucks anywhere within sight. James Caan just dresses like a super-freak. Good for him.

Later that evening, I was working at the Troubabdour and Dinosaur Jr. was having a reunion tour. Ted was spotted outside chatting up the line. I then saw him go upstairs into the bands dressing room to pal around with Jay Mascis. Who, as far as I can tell, always looks about that comfortable.

I've found that my reaction to seeing celebs in this town is very much like if I'd just seen an albino python or a spider monkey at the zoo. It's interesting. Your very mild curiosity about what they looked like in real life is met with an equally mild surprise when you see them. "Hmm. He's actually tall."
But you still don't have anything to say to them, nor would you want to. God only knows what a spider monkey or James Caan would do if you tried to engage it in a conversation about THE GODFATHER.

For some weird reason, I thought I was going to have a "celebrity hat trick" that night. I kept my eyes peeled and strained my tiny, hamster-powered brain to remember every 3rd and 4th rung celeb I could so I'd know it if I saw them.

No luck.

The whole night went by and I didn't see anybody else famous. Mostly I was curious what other famous people listened to Dinosaur Jr. in the late 80's and early 90's.

As it turns out, I missed a music celeb. Meg White (she's the one that's not Wynona Ryder) was at the show with some friends. I DO remember seeing her when somebody pointed out what she was wearing. Odder yet, I've seen the White Stripes in concert, so I'd seen her in person before.

The bartender that told me she was there was surprised at how nice Meg was. She had heard a couple horror stories about her being uppity and too cool for school. Thursday night she was sweet as pie.

Speaking of pie, I haven't had any in a really long time. I'm not going to seek out a pie, but if I see one cooling on a windowsill in West Hollywood, I'm-a runnin' off wit' it.

One legged-Man at the Disco

I haven't posted lately.

I started my new day job, and now work 3 shifts a week at the Troubadour.
Also, I'm house/dog-sitting in Silverlake, and that seems to take up most of my time.

If any of my readers ever move to LA, unless you also WORK in Silverlake, I strongly advise you to not live here. You're close to nothing, and traffic is always terrible. The rent savings is not worth the time you spend in traffic.

Anywho, so there's some comedy on this post, check out this guy's blog making fun of the homeless.

It's funny at times. But mostly, I'm wondering if he's been sent straight to hell, or if he's going to have to get shanked by a homeless person first and die before he goes to hell.

I promise my next post will not be so lazy. I was working up a good steam there for a little while and I want to keep it going.

2005 Flashback:
Big is gay, and Joe loves him.

I can't draw...

But I still like internet cartoons. What's one to do?

Master of Whoring

As I mentioned recently, I have lots of jobs out here.

Funny enough, the one that pays me the least monetarily is turning out to have all sorts of other benefits.

I was covering the red carpet at the Masters of Horror 2 launch party last night getting gems like this.

Since my boss at iesb.net also works at Dark Horse, he was invited into the party after the red carpeting, so I was invited as well. The event was held at a club in Hollywood called Ivar.

It was exactly what a trendy club in Hollywood is supposed to look like, I suppose. While I haven’t been to many of them, I’ve seen many in movies. And since they simply use the real thing in movies (they’re right here!), this place looked like all those other places.

The event was sponsored by Vampyre Vodka, so vodka drinks were free. If I wanted Wild Turkey it was going to be $9.00. So Red Bull and vodka in hand, I had my boss introduce me around. It turns out my boss knows lots of people.

In the span of two hours, I spoke with Eli Roth, Ray Park, Michael Olmos, Toby Hooper, Tiffiny Shepis, and Moriarty from Aintitcoolnews.com.

Fortunately, I don’t really care about stars, at least in terms of fame. I could count that number of people I think I’d be “star struck” in front of on both hands, and half of them aren’t actors.

What made the party so enjoyable was being chatted up like a colleage. I was within cock-punching distance of five or six millionaires at one point and they had no idea that I couldn’t afford their car payment.

I’ve never thought of directors and actors as an inaccessible class or anything. However since I’m fresh off the boat from Hicksville (read: beyond the Valley and not from New York) I didn’t see myself necessarily getting invited to their parties just yet. I apparently only needed 90 days to be at the same party as the director of Hostel.

Now that in and of itself is not useful or important. I know for a fact that a bikini contest winner from Nebraska who’s only been here 2 months was at the same party. Granted, she has a different skill set than I do, but not bad for a straight dude.

The more networking, the better. If I was in magazine ad sales I would leap at a chance to leave High Times for Time Magazine.

The show I came from didn’t measure up to the quality and journalistic integrity of High Times, so getting into this type of fiesta made me feel like I’ve made some good progress out here….and in good time.

The Silver Lining

While I have really big blog entry coming up (probably late tonight) I just wanted to point out one of the silver linings to 9/11, the Jihad against America and the war in Iraq;
Middle-eastern actors are getting a ton of work. Or, at least they just have to look middle-eastern.
The TV was on in the background while I wrote for a little while today. During one commercial break there was a doublemint gum commercial with a white guy and an Arab singing the doublemint song. It was so hilariously awesome because they really didn't look anything alike, so it was quite amusing. I guess you'd have to see it, but it was even funnier than Robin Williams.

Right after that commercial was one set in an office. I don't know what the product was, because I was like "damn, look at all the A-rabs that office employs! There must be four of 'em! The better not make fun of Allah, or they'll have themselves a fax-machine Jihad!"

Never mind commercial work, but the load of films that have come out lately that essentially blame America for 9/11, TV shows where the Arabs are good guys and Neo-Nazis are the criminals, and all manner of topical, common-sense current events. I don't know about you, but I for one am sick of all these neo-nazis ruining everything!

Good thing that thar Tee-Vee is showin' me that they is good people, or I might load up ma pick-up with some beer and my good 'ol boys and go shoot me up some A-rabs...YEEEEE-HAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Ka-pew! Ka-pow! Ka-pow! (miming shooting six-guns into the air)

Passing the Funny

Whoever writes these is pretty damned funny. I just wanted to pass that on.

Also, I hate yoga.
People that do yoga near the boxing ring at my gym and fart up a storm while doing the Smelly Lotus Petal or the Stinky Swan, or whatever the fuck it is.

Hey, can I assume a position that pushes all the gas out of my body?

Only if you're right next to people!

God bless the queers for being able to bend themselves into a pretzel. I love freaks and bendy crap leans towards freak, but come on with the farting!!!