For the Love of All that's Good...

get me out of this job.

First off, I'm going to try to post more often. Nobody reads this but as a friend has pointed out, it keeps those writing muscles strong. Mine have been in a constant state of misuse, mostly verbally mastubating over celebrities or plugging every product that will show up for 5 minutes of morning television.

So I write promos -commercials- for a semi-national morning show. These promos tell people what's going to happen tomorrow on the show. Now, the company that owns the show spent 50 grand on research to determine that "topical" promos, those that tease the following show's content, don't work.
However our affiliates (local stations that carry the show) insist that they must have topicals because "you've just got to have topicals".

SO, that would mean I should quickly turn out some serviceable promos and put the majority of my time towards image spots and personality-driven spots that convince people that the show is hip and relevant (which it is neither).
Instead, what I do is spend lots and lots of time making these topical promos fucking rock. These topicals which feature such exciting topics as gifts for your pets and live appearances of Sister Hazel should kick all promo-ass.
And yes, I’m not kidding about Sister Hazel. I’m sure they’re a fine band and all and work very hard, but come on, they’re done.

This is all very moot and silly of me to worry about much less write about, but it’s therapeutic.

The show is going to further be molded and morphed as dictated by research, which we all know means becoming something that actually strives for a particular style of banal mediocrity lacking all personality, passion or originality.

Once upon a time this could have been a great show. There was a giant opportunity to create and market something towards a hip youth market, and actually speak to them as equals, as classmates.
Instead we have Henderson Valley Eggs all over again (thank you, David Cross).
I’ve got to run. We’ve got some off the chain pet gifts that will make Fido flip this holiday season.