Two men enter, one man leaves....

I already knew that Vladimir Putin was a black belt in Judo and practiced Sambo. It turns out, he's a grand master or something in Sambo.

What I didn't know, what this.

Are you kidding me? He's a 54-year old politician for crap's sake, not a mature male model! Staying in -presentable- shape is understandable. I'm a pretty unappealing wad of goo right now, so I get it. But Putin looks like he's getting ready to fight Randy Couture or maybe a small bear (BTW, for the uninitiated and the ladies, Randy is 44 years old). 44 years old and it looks like you could wash your sheets on his stomach. If this is starting to sound like I'm a little gay for Randy, I may remind my good readers of my love of boobies. But if I had to choose a guy...

My main point is this; I'm really glad global politics and international disputes are not determined by single combat. I'm relatively sure that Putin could whup Bush, Brown, Ahmadinejad and Calderon all while stepping on Sarkozy's neck.

Granted, Ahmadinejad would explode halfway into the match, killing them all but it would be impressive until then.

Casting Hours

I have been working 12 hour days more often on 1 VS 100, so I haven't blogged lately. Even though we only have 2 weeks left, they moved our offices from the Culver Studios to the Sony lot. At first I was pissed, because the Sony lot is huge and it's a pain to get around unless you have a golf cart.

Now it's sorta cool because they're shooting a -lot- of crap there. I don't know what exactly besides DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN, an Adam Sandler movie co-written by Robert Smigel (so it should actually be funny).

I will be at Dragoncon in Atlanta from August 31st until Labor Day. Then I'll be back in Dayton for about 10 days. All and any Dayton people (and my Atlanta peep!) should call me after labor day. The 13s have agreed to help me throw a party at their place, more details to follow.

I'm a bubble, Goodbyyyyyyye!

Next Season; Sinestro AND Mole-Man!

I never watched 24. While I heard the first season was really good, I watched an episode. The -entire- episode was like that one scene (which exists in good and bad movies) where a guy in a busy room with lots of computers tells 14 people 14 different orders to get him a certain piece of information YESTERDAY!!
He needs it fast, fast, fast. He needs the best men on the job. Pull Ace Armstrong off that mission in Singapore, we need him on this now. Also, the five smartest human beings on the planet are all in the room and they are ALL scared of who they're up against...the smartest, most cleverest, awesomest brilliant evil genius the world has ever known!!!

Then, there was this. Jack is supposed to be the one-man, gritty American James Bond of a counter-terrorist unit. So naturally the villains in season 1 are from the Balkans. I don't know who hates us more, the Albanians or the Greeks. But Season one has been made before 9/11 happened, right? So certainly in the second season...
Muslims backed by whitey and the corporations. God knows the corporations want nothing more than to blow up customers and cause chaos and terror which are always great for the economy. I guess not a lot of television writers are former corporate CEOs, so how could they possibly know want they want, right?

The third season people were still telling me to watch the show, it's so great. The problem was, I still thought that it was a cartoon on the page just like James Bond, but unlike Bond, there's not an ounce of cheekiness. As a matter of fact, it takes itself dead-Goddamn seriously.

So I gave the show another go. I watched another episode in Season 3. Bad guys? A South American drug cartel and a British dude who's seriously going to fuck America up!!!! I don't know why they didn't just have a white cat on his lap and a rocket-chair, I mean why not?

I never took another glance back at the show because, come on.

This season Jack will be battling Global Warming. The show isn't just going green, it's being incorporated into the plot. It wasn't enough that we pretended countries and ethnicities that are friendly to neutral towards the US are bent on our destruction (but I'm sure they appreciated the thought) we are now just fighting the wind, the sun and the rain.

I think if Jack gets into a bind this season he has 3 choices for help. He can;

1) Blow a magic horn as loud as he can and Aslan will show up and eat the Armenians illegally shipping hairspray to Indians or some shit.

2) Use the glasses from his utility belt that allow him to see the largest producer of greenhouse gases so he can arrest China (thats a lot of handcuffs).

3) Toss a red and white ball at the Lichtensteinian hairdresser that's poisoning the LA water supply with fresh, clean water. I choose you, Pikkachu!!!